That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
