so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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