The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
