Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
