Why are handjobs necessary in class?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
