he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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