Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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