You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
