If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
