no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
