Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
