He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
