I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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