Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
