I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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