cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
