im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
