K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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