If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
