he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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