I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
