I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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