I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
