idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Randomize
