This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
