we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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