i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
