So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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