I am puke
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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