Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
