I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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