Sry I called you an 8
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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