you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
