We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize