Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hippo gnu deer
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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