dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We are two peas in an std pod
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
