he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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