My brain says no but my pants say off.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
