apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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