I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
