I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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