I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
