So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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