sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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