He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
