Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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