I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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