I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
