brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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