man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
