So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
