Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
